despair

3

My Heart Seeks

I walk not knowing where I am headed, What lies in front of me, what path I’ve treaded. Lost in the midst of a jungle, blinded by lush trees, The thorns prick my feet, causing them to bleed. Shall I detour from the trees to see what lies ahead of me? Or shall I take a different path, and from this jungle be freed? Or should I make for myself shoes to walk within it safely– Shoes with soles of patience and heals of piety? Should I walk alone...

15

Mirror of A Believer

Mirror, mirror on the wall, Reflecting the past, the treacherous falls, My soul’s weaknesses pierce your glare, And reflect again on my own despair. Trembling and sore, I seek to erase The failures that are bolded, retraced. My blood boils, tears well up in my eyes, My chest constricts as my throat runs dry. Regret seeps into my aching veins, As memories of vice leak through the pain. I stare narrowly as I clench my teeth, And let out a crippled cry in the face of defeat. “Forgiveness, mercy,”...

14

Basket of Moonlight

I was no longer sure about the time of day. Not a ray of sunlight was apparent to signify the morning, nor was there a sliver of moonlight to signify the night. All I was certain about was the opacity that engulfed the atmosphere I was trudging through. The air felt moist against my forehead as I blindly roamed on, and made me wonder if I was passing through a dark, dense fog. I wandered and wandered. The surface beneath my feet was rough and uneven. At one point...

34

Drowning in Sin

Her fingers stretched toward the disturbed surface of water. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head. Then, she plunged. She plunged into a world where people did not care about their Lord, a world where shades of black engulfed her, where a searing pain cut off her feeble air supply. The only certainty was uncertainty, the only relief defeat. Her limbs flailed helplessly, her mouth moved in soundless cries for help. Bubbles sprouted from her mouth, carrying away the praise of Allah she so desperately needed to...

12

A Letter To The Heart

Dear Heart, I write this to you as a reminder. Eighteen years and still together, you are surely one of my closest companions. I’ve heard your voice from the beginning: happiness, sadness, and so much more that thumped against your rib cage. And you witnessed all that I have: friends, places, and a lot more through my senses. If you stop pumping the blood circulating through the intricate passes of my veins, I will die within a few minutes. And if I stop my vitals of worship and acts...

6

Atheism Nearly Cost Me My Life

Imagine being hunted. You cannot see your attacker, but you know that the attacker will catch up with you. So you run anyway. Run. You reach a crossroads, and you do not know which road to take. You pick any; it does not matter to you, because the attacker will catch up with you. At some point, you slow down, and you forget about the attacker. But then, later, you’ll remember the chase. And you’ll keep running, and running, and running. Until you are so tired that you do...

5

Crimson Drenched Eyes

Another tear rolls down my cheek, I feel it meandering its way down, Joining the others to form a stream. I slowly close my crimson drenched eyes, Feeling the shatter inside my chest; The vessel has finally begun to leak. ‘In life you will meet all kinds of people’ I hear my father’s words ringing in my ears. But no matter how prepared you think you are, It will never be enough for this kind of betrayal. Treated appallingly in more ways than one, Their selfishness has made me...

20

Emo Muslim Youth?

Our society is filled with hurt and despair. The sad part is that we, as Muslim youth, don’t make it any better. Unfortunately, many people do not realize that any statement or action of hurt will hurt, regardless of what one may say. We may call it gentle teasing or good-natured ribbing, but at the end of the day, they are all mere attempts to explain the several shades of hurt that we may inflict on others. When this is being done on a continuous basis, we become immune...