family

A Palace of Dark Windows

Sometimes we think that just because there is light everything is clear. We fail to see the shades. We are blind to the shadows of their stories. On one of your semi-solitary strolls along the river of cement, you encounter a palace whose only openings are windows. You reach for a broad bright window and swing it open. There, you see a very respectable-looking man. Driven by curiosity, you observe him with his friends, his boss and his co-workers. Light seems to be radiating from all around him. So courteous,...

29 December 2011 | Abuse | abuse, crying, domestic abuse, family, hurt, parents | 8 Comments

I’m So Not Worth Anything

It was a beautiful moonlit, starless night. I gazed out of the window and breathed in deeply. It all seemed so peaceful, but yet, the turmoil within me seemed to be raging harder than ever. I had a sudden urge to jump and just let go. Let go of my worries, my problems, my life… I’m so not worth anything. Sometimes I feel like my family thinks I was only a nuisance…and I don’t blame them. After all, they have to pay for my food, pay for my school,...

27 December 2010 | Depression | Allah, depressed, Depression, emo, family, friends, love, sad, Safi Khan, suicide, teachers | 13 Comments

Qualities of a Hafidh

“Come in”, Shaykh Haroon Baqai said. I walked in slowly, shaking from head to toe. I had only applied for the Hifzh School a few days ago, and now I found myself entering his office for a scheduled interview. Alhamdulillah, it went smooth and after answering a few questions and memorizing an Ayah from Surah Saad and reciting it to him, the interview came to a close and I quickly sprinted out of the office in relief. By the grace of Allah, I was accepted. For the next few...